Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
