Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
