he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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