you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
