no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
