i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
BRING THE BAGELS
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
