i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
