Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
