therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
