Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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