I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're too hungover to prance.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
