Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
