i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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