If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
