Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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