Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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