you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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