i don't like sucking hair
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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