PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
