oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
