White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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