He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't want my vagina anymore.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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