I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
