Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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