Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
