sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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