Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
