69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
