Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize