tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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