Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
