I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
