You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
