guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
