How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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