We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
