The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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