u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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