everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
