So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
