I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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