well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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