I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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