We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
