if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
