I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
