I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
