I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
