Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
