Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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