toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
A+ Viking dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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