she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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