She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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